While I was pregnant, many people recommended that I read a book titled "Baby Wise." I read it. I liked it. I thought wow this seems like a pretty good method to try.
Well I tried it. It worked for awhile. But once Makenna hit the 2 month mark my success began fly out the window. Makenna started to have problems napping. She would wake up after 20 minutes or 40 minutes if I was lucky. And when I mean wake up, I mean happy and very alert wake. Come to find out she was not transitioning from active sleep to deep sleep very well. Although napping was a problem, she continued to sleep well at night.
We are still having problems with napping but I have gotten used to her waking up and putting her back to sleep. But this was after many weeks of feeling like I was failing at what had worked for so many other moms.
So long story short, here are a few things I think about Baby Wise and what I found worked or didn't:
- Baby Wise has a lot of helpful tips about feeding, scheduling, and other basic information about newborns.
- A feed/wake/sleep cycle really does help promote night time sleep
- Baby Wise is not helpful AT ALL when it comes to your baby having problems napping.
- Just because something worked for 95% of the moms you know, it doesn't mean it will work for you. And even more importantly, you shouldn't feel like you are doing something wrong when it doesn't work for you.
- People/Moms tend to only share the positive experiences of parenting a newborn.
- A baby can be happy even when they sleep less than normal.
- Contrary to the statistics throughout the book, we still think that Makenna is gonna turn out great.
- If something is not working and you have given it a fair chance to work, try something new. Don't continue doing it because it woked for someone else.
7 comments:
The thing that annoyed me most about that book how much praise it receives. It seemed like everytime I would express some sort of frustration with Makenna's sleep issues to other fairly new parents, the first thing I would hear resembled, "Well, have you read Baby Wise?" Like it was the 32nd Chapter of Proverbs. Like if I read it, Makenna would change, champagne would flow, confetti would fall and ISU would begin winning again.
Yes, some decent concepts in the book, but as with all advice, take it with a grain of salt and decide for yourself.
Dude. I'm with you on that. Parents have survived for generations without that book. It's definitely NOT "gospel." Also, now that we are on child #4, I can definitely tell you that babies are unique, and what works for one child may or may not work for another. Multiple children tend to humble you.
Also, I think that the trend of women in the work place has created a need for children to sleep through the night at earlier ages. It used to be that mothers could nap with their babies during the day... or that grandmas and aunties were available to help, providing much needed rest for the momma. Parents seem to be more on their own now. Babies are expected to adjust.
So maybe you're controversial, but I tend to agree with you. :) The book has some good ideas and helpful suggestions. But I still feel that the "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" book was more helpful. It is a little more flexible on methods for helping the little ones fall asleep. I found it reassuring to read what are "normal" development of sleep patterns (based on medical research), and the book takes into account the fact that not all children are the same. When I read the babywise book, I felt like I was being accused of being a bad mother because I didn't follow their methods precisely.
I think Jared's got it figured out...take it all with a grain of salt. Only the Bible is infallible. :)
Honestly....I've talked to more parents who didn't like that book than did. Most are with you, Allison, and mentioned that the parents need to figure out what worked best for their kid and for their family. You are doing a GREAT JOB!!! :)
Funny, I think the same way... about Dave Ramsey. Great book, great ideas, good advice, all of which I have heeded some or much of. Yet, it is not a book of the bible. Following "FPU," "Baby Wise," and "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" are all well and good, as long as they are pointing us back to scripture to help us achieve a biblical prinicple. We have a tendancy to latch onto things that help us in this world and become legalistic about them. We attach more value and weight to these things, and ultimately miss the bigger picture. We are not here to please man, but to please God-- or rather do the right thing with the right heart. In doing so we will better please some, but likewise have some more displeased with us. There are always individual, societal, cultural, and spiritual conditions and norms that innundate us with each decision we make. It is difficult when a "Christian" culture seems to make us feel inadequate. We must temper this with scripture and sound doctrine.
If I have date night with my wife every week and honor that, am I loving her? The act itself may be of good intentions, but can I ignore her the rest of the week? Are you following Baby Wise, a great guide (or let's say another topic of controversy, are you breast feeding?) No, then you must be a bad mother. By no means! Are you your child's earthly authority as the bible calls us to be, or is your child the authority? Baby Wise is simply a help to acieve a biblical goal, just as much as date night helps to achieve the biblical mandate to love my wife. However, Jesus, Peter, or Paul never got into baby scheduling or date night. There is a reason Paul's letters seem to be general at times. He knew our inclination to the law. We as humans are too inclined to be legalistic than have our hearts overflow with the Spirit of Christ who dwells within us.
I agree with you too! Good book overall, but every child still has their own unique personality and may or may not follow along with what the book says. Seth is 8 and 1/2 months and still sometimes has trouble through the night but is generally great at taking naps. Find what works for you and Makenna even if it wasn't mentioned in any book ever written. I am sure you are doing a wonderful job. Keep you head up! She will be a beautiful young lady one day all thanks to you!!
Well if you've read any of my posts on Babywise I'm sure you can guess that I am going to agree with you. I am all for routine and getting babies on a schedule. It is VITAL. The book does not encourage straying from the routine and that is where it fails. Babies are running towards one goal... survival. They are not disobedient and in my opinion you can't spoil and infant. You gotta do what works.
Max is teething and lately will not fall asleep unless I hold him. Yes, that may take some extra time and it's not always convenient but each and every time I enjoy it because I know I won't always be able to hold him like that. You just have to do what's right for you and your family and that can change from day to day as your family changes.
God has given you the ability to know what is right for you and Makenna. That is your instinct. I say go with that :-)
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